


Eyes

by tittysatan



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Emotional Abuse, I'm serious this is not a good time for anyone, Incest, M/M, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-23 00:47:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11978583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tittysatan/pseuds/tittysatan
Summary: Illumi teaches Killua an object lesson in what it means to be helpless.





	Eyes

Killua had never been so exhausted in his life.

He couldn't remember how long it had been since he'd slept, or eaten, or had more than a few sips of water. He couldn't think. His entire universe had narrowed down to the cold basement dungeon, his body on the verge of crumbling, and the dark, ever-present eyes of his brother.

"What are you stopping for?" Illumi said. "Keep going."

Killua hadn't even noticed he'd stopped doing his combat drills. His muscles screamed as he raised his arms to continue, forcing himself to go through the motions even as his pulse roared in his ears and his vision began to waver.

The next thing he knew, Killua was collapsed on the floor.

"Stand up."

He tried, stumbled, fell.

"Stand up, Kil."

The stone floor was so cool under his face. He wanted to lie there forever.

" _Kil_ ," Illumi repeated, dragging him to his feet. "Keep going."

"…no."

Killua could feel those eyes burning his skin.

"You can't just… I need a break, let me leave already…!"

Delicately, Illumi tilted his brother's face upwards. "Are you trying to disobey me?" he asked, empty black eyes staring straight into Killua's.

Killua clenched his fists to stop them from shaking. "Y-yeah, I am!"

Illumi's arm dropped, and for an uncomfortably long moment, long enough for Killua to feel a cold sweat form on his brow, he just stood there. "…I see I've been lax in my training," he finally said. "I thought you understood how useless it was to oppose someone you have no hope of defeating, but I guess not. At this rate, you'll get yourself killed one day." He smiled, but behind his eyes there was nothing. "I'd better correct that."

Illumi reached out a hand and Killua tensed, expecting a strike, only to have the man softly tousle his hair. Killua froze, eyes wide, unsure how to feel, torn between confusion and a simple, childish happiness. _When was the last time Illu-nii was so gentle to me…?_

"You know that I love you, right?" Illumi murmured, hand still toying with his hair. "I'd never do anything that wasn't in your best interest. You know that, right?"

Wordlessly, Killua nodded, and let Illumi push him to his knees without ever questioning why.

But then Illumi's other hand undid his pants, and for a moment Killua couldn't think, couldn't process what was happening. Why Illumi's cock was in his face. He looked up helplessly, hoping impossibly that there was some other explanation, because why would he do this, when he was being so nice? But as soon as he met those eyes, that hope was crushed.

"Lick it."

"…I…I don't understand…" Killua murmured weakly. "…why are you…why…?"

"I'm teaching you a lesson," Illumi said simply. "I can do this because I'm stronger than you. Open your mouth."

He couldn't move. Killua's whole body was shivering feverishly, trapped in a terrified paralysis he didn't know was possible.

Illumi traced his hand down Killua's face in a dissonant caress. "Don't worry, Kil. If you're a good boy, it'll all be over soon."

Slowly, as if moving on its own, Killua's mouth opened.

Illumi's cock was hot and hard and Killua had to force back vomit as it violated his mouth. _This can't be happening_ , he thought. _This can't be happening_. He looked up again with the same pathetic helplessness, only to shudder as he met Illumi's eyes. Clumsily, Killua began to work his tongue up and down the shaft. _I have to do what he says. If I just do what he says, it'll all be over_. He sucked, hideously aware of the fingers playing over his face, too terrified to dare look up again.

"That's good," Illumi said, voice as eerily absentminded as ever. "Like that."

Killua kept moving his mouth, trying to focus on the motions instead of what they meant, sucking and licking like it was a popsicle and not…not… He realized he was crying. He had probably been crying for quite a while. _It'll be over soon._ Illumi thrust into his mouth, hard, and Killua gagged and almost choked and repeated it again and again like a prayer. _It'll be over soon. It'll be over soon. It'll be over soon._

"I'm going to come," Illumi said, the levelness of his voice maddening. "Make sure to swallow it all."

Killua had thought it couldn't possibly get worse, but suddenly his mouth was full of hot thick acrid salty sludge and he tried to swallow, because he knew he had to, but it was no use. This time he did choke, falling onto all fours, gasping and coughing for breath. It was dripping from his mouth. He'd never felt so disgusted with himself.

"Ahh, what a shame," Illumi sighed. "Looks like I'll have to punish you."

"Wha…what…?" Killua stammered, forcing the words out of his mouth as he looked up at Illumi.

"I told you to swallow, didn't I?" Illumi replied. "And you didn't. So you need to be disciplined."

"No way…" Killua edged away from Illumi until his back was pressed to the wall. "No, you can't, you said…"

But Illumi was already right in front of him, cupping his face lightly. "I told you already, didn't I?" he said, empty eyes staring straight into Killua's, paralyzing him. "I can do anything I want. This is what happens when you try to fight someone stronger than you."

Illumi started to unbutton Killua's pants. "What are you…stop it! Just, stop it already!" Killua shouted desperately, kicking and struggling against Illumi's grip with strength he didn't know he had left, but to no avail. Illumi was stronger. This was what it meant to be defeated.

"Stop, stop, please, stop…" he continued weakly as Illumi tossed his pants and underwear aside, wetting a finger in his mouth. "You can't, you can't, please don’t…!" But there was something slim and invasive inside Killua, and he was pinned by those eyes like an insect in a specimen box, and that finger was moving inside him. He was moaning, he realized, in between his struggles and protests. His body rebelling against him, enjoying something that should have been worse than any pain, no, _was_ worse. He'd rather be skinned alive than have his brother's hands on him.

"Don't do this, please don't do this, why are you doing this to me…?" he said over and over again as Illumi violated him, shuddering as a second finger was added, then a third, all his struggles useless against that terrible strength.

"Say, Kil." Illumi finally said, withdrawing his fingers. "I'm going to take you."

Killua could barely think. "You…why…I…you can't, that's wrong, that's…I, I'll tell Dad!" he finally landed on, with all the desperation of a last resort.

"Oh?" Illumi asked, not shifting from his position with Killua's legs spread and his cock ready to force inside him. "Do you really think you could explain this to him?"

 _Illumi raped me._ Just thinking it was unbearable. To say it out loud, and to his father, no less... He couldn't reply. He couldn't say anything.

"That's what I thought," Illumi said, and drove inside him.

It hurt _it hurt IT HURT_ and Killua almost screamed but this was better, this was something he could handle, as long as he could focus on the pain and nothing else it wasn't any worse than normal training, it wasn't anything worth dwelling on. Worse was the sickening betrayal of his senses, because it _did_ feel good, even through everything, when Illumi hit him right there. He was pressed down with his back to the cold floor and Illumi was atop him, expressionless face inches from his as he thrust, and it felt like a nightmare, incomprehensible but no less awful for it, hurt and shame and those empty, empty eyes. He'd given up begging for Illumi to stop, because he knew he wouldn't. There was nothing Killua could do. _Just endure it, it'll be over soon, it'll be over soon._ He'd never felt such helplessness. He'd never wished so badly he was dead.

"You understand now, don't you, Kil?" Illumi murmured into his ear. "Against someone stronger than you, you're powerless. You can't do anything." He wrapped his arms tightly around Killua, shifting to reverse their positions and sitting up against the wall with his younger brother on his lap.

Just when Killua thought this nightmare would never end, Illumi had stopped moving. He was too scared and too relieved to do anything but sit there helplessly, crying and shivering uncontrollably, arms wrapped tight around himself. _Please let this be over, please, I'll never question you again so please…!_

"If an enemy got a hold of you, they could do even worse," Illumi continued, lifting Killua gently in his arms to pull out and sitting him back in his lap, their erections touching. "They wouldn't stop out of sympathy."

Killua was almost too afraid to ask, terrified that this was some kind of cruel game, and as soon as he spoke, he'd be plunged back into that hell. But even if that were the case, he knew he had no choice. "…is…is it over…?"

"It's over, Kil."

And Killua was sobbing and clinging to his brother, face buried in his shirt, choking out "thank you, thank you…!" again and again through his tears, too grateful it had ended to care about anything else, as Illumi stroked his hair with such tenderness.

"I don't want you to suffer, Kil," Illumi murmured. "But if you don't see how important it is not to put yourself at risk, you'll suffer so much more. I only scared you like this because I just can't stand the thought of anyone hurting you. You understand, right?"

Fighting back his sobs, Killua nodded. "…t-thank you, Illu-nii…"

"Of course," he said, embracing him. "You're my little brother. I love you."

Resting his head against Illumi's chest, curtained by his dark hair, everything that had happened felt somehow faraway. Of course. Illu-nii loved him. He'd never do anything to that wasn't in his best interest. This was just another kind of training, no different than poison or electrocution.

"I love you too," Killua replied, voice strangely distant in his ears.

It was so warm in Illumi's arms. Killua wished he could stay there forever. It felt so safe. Even when Illumi reached down and began to stroke their cocks together, Killua found he didn't mind that much. It felt like it was happening to someone else. It was nice, compared to the pain and humiliation of before. It wasn't scary. He just focused on the sound of Illumi's steady heartbeat. When he came, it felt like the last bit of strength had been drained from his body. Killua was in a daze, vaguely aware of Illumi dressing him, carrying him in his arms, tucking him into bed.

"You can have the next few days off training, so just rest, okay?" Illumi said, sitting beside him. "I'll come up with something to tell Father."

"Thanks, Illu-nii…" Killua mumbled, blinking vacantly up at his brother.

"Your eyes are so lovely right now," Illumi murmured, tracing the curve of his face with delicate fingers. "They look just like mine."

Killua fell asleep with his brother softly tousling his hair.


End file.
